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By jaspers1980, May 9 2019 06:00PM

Hi Guys!

It is Lana tonight. Jasper is snoring and our human is full after burgers for tea. The rain keeps pouring and we have to go out everyday. A lady like me should not be out in the cold and damp. I have nails to look after and silky fur. Jasper, he doesn't mind. But he's not as beautiful as myself.

Yesterday a car was pulling out of a drive when our Human shouts 'ROUND!' I look at him and think, I know you are.

Oh I hate this weather when the sun should be out but all we have are clouds. What sort of planet is this! Us ladies need to be clean and fruitful all year round. Some sun is very much needed when we are pretty, like myself. Jasper, typical man. He has no limits to how filthy he will go.

I hate it when the lead comes out after a good walk in the right weather. All the bunnies we chase, and squirrels. I want to climb those trees and gallop after them. The little furry so and so's. Our human always shouts 'WAIT' then I think 'you're about 16 stone' I wonder what he would say if I replied that too him.

When our human is on the PC I always go up to him and see how long he has left. The ball is downstairs and I like it thrown for me. Sometimes he tuts or frowns. I like to curl up by him on the sofa here him breathing like a tired rhino.

look at me below. I love a good tickle! The late Ernie watches from the side. RIP Ernie. We do miss ya....

By jaspers1980, Apr 21 2019 04:13PM

Hello guys! Me and Lana pooch here....our humans are preparing tea. Roasted veg and chicken. OUR FAVOURITE! We've noticed this week our human getting nervous with helicopters in the sky above. I think he believes they might think the bald patch on his head is a heli-pad.

I have yawned all day after this mornings walk. We have been in the garden twice. Chased the ball. I had to go through the gate and around to retrieve it from the farm field. The farmer has turned the grass and it's now plain of soil. Very good surface for footie. But we're not allowed on there.

We had no eggs today. We're not allowed chocolate. But we will chase some bunnies later if they're out and about. All in good jest of course. Lana is panting still, sounds like a steam train. She loves the ball and nibbling people's legs. I would ratehr sniff their shins and leave my scent. No-one seems to like us around here, not sure why.

The human called me 'Obstinate' the other day. He seems to think I enjoy having the lead put on me after a walk. I stand in the nettles and brambles for a reason. In hope he doesn't know I'm there. He stands there asking me to come out. But I don't move. I want to stay there and let him come to me. He is the one who wants to go home. Not me and Lana!

Anyway I am tired. The water bowl is my fav today. This heat is too much for us in furry coats. It's alright for our human who sits in his Shaun the Sheep t-shirt and Batman shorts. Though I am glad he doesn't dress like that outside. Those legs of his....i've seen sheep with better limbs.

By jaspers1980, Apr 18 2019 04:53PM

Spring is here! Our human has been whistling again! He's like a kettle at the minute. Now he's happy because the swallows have arrived. A swallow! EXACTLY! I just sigh and think of tea. We are in the garden much more now as he has started planting seeds in his beds and planters. So we're playing with the ball

which I know he loves to do. He frowns like a rhino standing on a thorn but he enjoys playing. He sometimes sings songs like he's at the football. But me and Lana are a good team and guard the fence very well.

Me and Lana love to stretch under the expanding sun. Our minds full of sticks and balls. Though our biggest enemy is back. The wasp! How we hate these buggers! We have been involved in some fights over the years with nests in the garden. Our human hates them too. When one comes near he jumps about like he's doing star jumps. The only exercise he does. He did join the gym once but I think he went on the vending machine mostly.

Anyway, here's some photos of me in the old garden in springtime. We haven't much yet in the new one but the humans are saying this will change....

woof woof!

By jaspers1980, Apr 12 2019 08:54PM

Weekend is here! We all have a good lie in over the two days. No point getting up (yawn) too early. Me and Lana have had chew shoes this week. I love getting my teeth into them! Not sure where our human buys them but they are awesome!

He's been chirpy this week, our human. Cannot be a full moon. He was whistling yesterday, danced with Lana. He must have worked out the microwave is for food not clothes. We went down the wood again and then onto the field. The sun fell on us. I love spring and all the smells it brings! Our human perks up when there is sun. His head frazzles and he turns into a pumpkin. Me and Lana snigger when he leaves the room.

We chased some rabbits today. I love speeding after them! They are great fun and always make it hard for us to get close. I only want to sniff their fur! Crikey they hurtle! It's a shame as we could become firm friends. Same with squirrels and crows. They always run.

Our human still lifts these things in the garden. Weights, I think. Not sure why. He seems to be annoyed at lifting them and swears when done. What's the point of doing something that makes you angry? Me and Lana just lie with our tennis balls. He does play in between which is great. His shape hasn't changed much. The usual seal shape lying on a beach.

Ah well, me and Lana know best! Chase the ball, stick, eat, then sleep. Perfect.

By jaspers1980, Apr 10 2019 01:55PM

Sorry I haven't been writing, I have been a bit lazy lately. My legs need stretching for all the running and chasing a ball we keep giving back to our human. But, for some reason throws it away with a frown. The woods are growing as we sniff the paths. Trees have decided it's time for leaves. Bird song is confusing my hearing. I never know if it's a bird or our human whistling!

Me and Lana pant a little more with the extra heat from the sun. Our human is still trying to lose weight. He is eating veg and fresh salad, a spinach & blueberry smoothie. Sometimes he gives me and Lana some stew or soup he has made. He has lost a bit around the tub, his shadow isn't a barrel shape now, more a melon.

The neighbour has two lambs. I sniff at the fence and would love to jump over and round them up. They're noisey and spend a lot of time nibbling the grass. Lana growls. Then our human tells us they are friendly and we must be nice to them. Then I ask Lana, what meat did he have for Sunday roast? Lamb, she replies.

Our mum is on nights this week so we get on the bed at night and stretch out. Pushing our human friend out of the bed during the the early hours. He groans and tuts. I pretend to have a nightmare and whack his legs with my tail. He gets up and strokes my face. What does he know!

Anyway, must be off. I have a chew to chew and sofa to soften. Cushions to mould into my body shape and a human to pester when my belly rumbles.


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